I am grappling with a newfound understanding of the fragility of life after having a medical emergency in September. One minute I was fine, and the next minute I wasn’t. I spent a long month in the hospital and rehab.
I keep trying to calm myself down by telling myself that it could have been much worse, but it’s not working. I keep thinking about it happening again; I keep worrying about a potentially difficult future. I hope I can live a “normal” life and not let bleak thoughts cloud my sight. I hope I hope I hope.
I also am dealing with the shock of the cost of health care. Luckily, I have wonderful insurance through my employer. I discovered the other day that a few weeks in the hospital (multiple CT scans, MRIs, intensive care, etc.) cost more than $500K. That doesn’t include over a week in rehab as well. If you don’t have good health insurance, you are one catastrophe away from owing half a million dollars?! That is scary.
I’m going to try to be strong, because I know that other people are dealing with much worse. But right now, it’s still so fresh that I’m going to give myself grace as I struggle with a lot of emotions.
Leave a Reply